i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
