no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm bleeding and have questions
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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