i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
