erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
