Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
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I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize