I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
