If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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