If i come over, it means nothing
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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