I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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