why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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