Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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