My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
zippers are such a cool invention
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
