why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
