But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
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Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
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But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Drunk is a universal language darling
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