just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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