And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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