I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
