I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Mom said you looked used
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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