he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I need moral support for this bender
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
