...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
