I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
