at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
