I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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