My hair reeks of homosexuality.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
