I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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