Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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