Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
