I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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