i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
