so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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