Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
