Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
