First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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