had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
