What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Drunk is not a location!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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