He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
