There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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