So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
