Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
