There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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