4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
