Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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