woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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