Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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