people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
