You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
