I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Ladies don't puke and tell
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
