wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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