ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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