i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
