Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize