he thought i was a dude.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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