im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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