Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
