I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
