There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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