she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
