What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
