I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
