I'm lost and stupid without you.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
