I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
id be glad to
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
