If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
