Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
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I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
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I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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