whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i came on her dog
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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