i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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